It’s Christmas season and we all know what that means: Santa Claus this, Santa Claus that, I was very good this year, please give me presents, I will give you milk and cookies. I personally don’t care about him now because I care about the Christmas spirit and joy, not presents from a fat old man. The only reason why is that he is a CRIMINAL. Warning: Don’t tell younger kids about this.
- Santa breaks into everyone’s houses to give presents. Even though he does squeeze his big fat stomach into a chimney to give you presents, he does break in like a criminal. He thinks he won’t be caught because he’s Santa, the person who you obviously loved when you were little. He should, instead, knock on their door, or put the present outside, put a magical force so no one else can touch it. If he can’t do that, well, that sucks.
- Santa enslaves animals! Oh, poor animals, they have to go everywhere Santa goes on Christmas night. They have to be taught how to fly, which is hard. I think he should try flying by himself with a bag, maybe floating beside him. Santa should try Quidditch and spells….
- Santa judges children by his personal standards. I don’t know why, but he thinks people are good or bad, even if they were the opposite. There’s also no gray area! I don’t understand why Santa tells people that they have to be good to get a present, because it makes no sense when he judges children by his standards. I hope he learns that everyone is good in some way.
- Santa is a stalker, and I mean it. Have you heard the lyrics in Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town? They say, “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake.” This spoils that he is a stalker, trying to hide his identity because kids don’t really know what “stalker” means.
- Did you know: Santa doesn’t have a pilot’s license? He doesn’t know how to fly, because he tells his reindeer everything he’s supposed to do. I think he should get a pilot’s licence, and start to learn to maybe try a flying car.
Here is all of the proof that Santa Claus is a mad and crazy lunatic. Now that you know all about his crimes, let’s make sure little kids know that when they grow older. Let’s hope they don’t cry….
Technically speaking, yes. Santa Claus should be charged with 999 centillion counts of burglary (taking into account all the people on earth, and how many times it has been done). That being said, at the end of my research, I would have to answer “No,” Santa Claus is not a criminal.
First of all, don’t try to search “Is Santa Claus a criminal?” on Google, because it will just be a Wikipedia page on the bank robbery in which Marshall Ratliff dressed up as Santa Claus.
Second of all, why would you charge someone for giving you a present by sneaking down your chimney? I find that there is no logic that goes with that. It’s like if the Canadian government offered you five million dollars and you choose to reject it for no reason. But on the other hand, you may argue that he should be charged with animal abuse, as he does probably does whack his reindeers to make them fly or go faster. So, I think both sides of the story are reasonable.
Third, what is the motive of Santa Claus’ “crimes?” To give us presents… right? If I were Sherlock Holmes, I would consider this “crime” not guilty. We love Santa, that’s why we welcome him into our beliefs, or else you would be thinking the Christmas Bunny was throwing presents down your chimney.
Hope you enjoyed this article and stay up on Christmas Eve!
Santa Claus breaks into people’s houses on an annual basis, pretty much every house celebrating Christmas. He enslaves reindeer and forces them to pull his sled everywhere around the world. He forces elves to make toys all day for others, up in the cold North Pole.
Little children anticipate gifts, but instead have to wash their stockings because they’ve been bad, ending up with coal.
But, he gives us presents. He makes toys and brings them to us, free of charge! His elves labour all year to bring joy to us. They make toys and organize everything. Their job is to make toys for us. In return, Santa gives them food and housing. And what does Santa get when he and the reindeer fly through the winter night? What does he get when he lugs heavy bags of toys? What does he get when he goes up a chimney, down a chimney, up a chimney, and down a chimney? NOTHING AT ALL! The occasional family may recognize and acknowledge this Christmas-y kindness and put some milk and cookies or some other snack down there, next to the Christmas tree, for him, but that’s it.
Overall, my opinion is that Santa is not a criminal. He is, technically, the core of Christmas. Christmas couldn’t be all that jolly, merry, and jovial without…SANTA CLAUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!